Preface
In sticking with my "Modus Operandi" of
being completely spontaneous and non-sequitur, (and perhaps even a
little supercilious) I'm writing this blog as my first attempt at being a
theological commentator of something so completely subjective (and moo) that
to for me to even offer an opinion is a little bit like, well a cow's opinion I
suppose.
3 points to make at this early point in
my blog.
1.
Yes, that was the longest run-on sentence you've ever read.
2.
No, it wasn't on purpose, I just noticed it.
3.
Yes, I'm too lazy to fix it.
In my defense, words inside of
parentheses (and quotes) don't count.
A forward
I've heard that it’s (almost) always a
bad idea to write sarcasm in email (and probably sanctimonious blogs). For
reasons being that those who read it may not realize it as such
and falsely assume you’re being a bully. In this case, either:
1.
No one has ever read anything by Dean
Koontz,
or
2.
Those writing the sarcasm really are
mean.
Just so you know, I'm a very nice
person (just ask my cat) and Dean Koontz is one of my most favorite authors. But, just in case that means nothing to you, there are two
things that should be considered when reading my blog.
1.
It is important for you dear reader to
remember that when I am waxing philosophical about ideas which I can
claim absolutely no formal knowledge of and/or
enlightenment from on high, I will undoubtedly find it necessary to apply
heavily sarcasm layered analogies and metaphors in order to make myself sound
more learned and thus the authority on whatever opinions I am espousing.
2.
I really like long run-on sentences.
You have been warned.
Getting down to
business. Maybe.
I believe the key to being a well-respected theological commentator
is the ability to "properly pontificate pretense". This is the skill
to righteously claim or imply a deep
and personal emotion or observation in
a way considered annoyingly pompous, dogmatic and not at all supported by fact. As a blogger, the most important
thing to remember is that most
people reading either:
1. Don't care
or
2. Don't know half as much about whatever
it is you are:
a. Obtusely (annoyingly
insensitive) describing to the
b. Philistines (those who
despise or dis value art, beauty, intellect, and content)
The second most important thing to remember when ascending to the
heights of Super-Bloggerdom is to completely and consciously ignore the first
most important thing you were supposed to remember.
A distant third is to make superfluous lists of items. It not only
makes you look well organized, but:
1. Implies you have so much
knowledge on the subject that it:
a. Literally overflows into
a stream of random and sometimes
non-related topics which:
i. Serves to keep your
readers slightly off balance and:
1. Incapable of formulating
well-reasoned arguments to your main points.
A preview of whats to come. Definitely.
So, now that I have issued all of the proper disclaimers I'll give you just a little taste of whats to come. Be warned though, the following contains no sarcasm or anything even remotely funny. At least for now.
For my next (and first serious) blog, I'll be focusing on 3 particular verses in the Bible, and how I believe they relate to Eschatological matters.
John 14:6
Jesus answered "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Romans 1:16
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile."
2nd Timothy 3:5
"Having a form of Godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."
See. Nothing amusing about that at all.
~Tetelestai~
~Tetelestai~
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